Sardar in the train:-
Sardar : I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn’t you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..
This joke was submitted by Sardar..
Urine Test:-
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
So the other asked, “Why are you crying?”
The first one replied, “I came here for blood test”
Second one asked, “So? Are you afraid?”
First one replied, “No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger”
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, “Why are you crying?”
The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”
This joke is Submited By – deepika.
Who is the fastest?
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the schoolyard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are.
The first one said: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!”
The second one said: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!”
Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: “Sorry, dudes… but MY DAD is the fastest. He’s a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,… and he’s home by 3:45!”.
Johnny speaking english?
Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’”
Little Johnny: “I is…”
Teacher: “No, Little Johnny. Always say ‘I am.’”
Little Johnny: “All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
A FUNNY INTERVIEW
Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father’s Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance….?
Officer : Mp !!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture..
Q: Why do boys go to temple
?
?
?
?Because a temple is the only place where u can find..
?
??
???
????
?????
??????
???????
Pooja
Bhawna
Shraddha
Aarti
Archana
Aradhana
Shanti
Jyoti
Preeti
And
Finally
…..
TRUPTI
…..
&
THEN
MUKTI…..
Before Marriage – - -
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!!!!!!!!!
After marriage – - – simply read from bottom to top.
Laloo to telephone operator:-
Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator: “COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PATNA AND LAS VEGAS?”
Operator: “JUST A MINUTE, SIR …”
Laloo: “THANK YOU”, AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
Lecturer in English:-
A new english lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.
So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn’t know how to put it in English..
He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me”.
The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……….
Cockroach Song:-
Cockroaches r going in a line the first cockroach sings ASHIK BANAYA song then remaining 2 Cockroaches dies..
do you know why?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
……………………………
because ASHIK BANAYA is a HIT song.
Conversation between a software engineer and his wife
Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife – would you like to have some snacks?
Husband – hard disk full.
Wife – have you brought the saree.
Husband – Bad command or file name.
Wife – but I told you about it in morning
Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife – at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband – sharing violation, access denied.
Wife – i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband – data type mismatch.
Wife – you are useless.
Husband – by default.
Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband – the only user with write permission.
Wife – what is my value in your life?
Husband – unknown virus detected.
Wife – do you love me or your computer?
Husband – Too many parameters.
Wife – i will go to my dad�s house.
Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife – I will leave you forever.
Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife – it is worthless talking to you.
Hu
sband – shut down the computer.
Wife – I am going
Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer.
Kids in school think quick:-
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
Going to school:-
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
Son: “But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
Mother: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
Son: “Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers too hate me”
Mother: “Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
Son: “Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
Mother: “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”.
In the years of marriage:-
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
This is crime story…………….. Five friends lived in one room,Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
………………..One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY…………………..At that time BRAIN was in bathroom…………….MAD called police.
MAD : “Is it police station???
“Police: “Yes, what is the matter??
“MAD : “SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.” ……..
Police: “Are you mad?” ………..
MAD : “Yes, I’m MAD.
“Police: “Don`t you have BRAIN….
“MAD : “BRAIN is in bathroom.”..
Police: “You FOOL.!!!
“MAD : “No, Sir.. FOOL is reading this joke… ” lolz. ha ha ha.
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
A lady came and asked him, ” Are you relaxing”
Sardar answered ‘” No I am Banta Singh”
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered ” No No Me ! Banta Singh”
Third one came and asked the same question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach.
He went and asked him ” Are you Relaxing?”.
The other Sardar was much educated and answered “Yes I am relaxing.
The Sardar slapped him on his face and said “Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here”
This joke is Submited By – deepika
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